In this post I shall share about another child's expression of her inner emotional needs while caught in between an acrimonious conflict between her divorced parents. Linda (not her real name) was 9 years old then and was presented for sandplay therapy due to frequent angry outbursts and violent tantrums. Her parents had fought fiercely over her custody and the girl had witnessed numerous occasions when the police had to be called to resolve their conflict. Sad to say the parents only agreed between themselves to bring her for therapy twice.
A feisty girl, Linda needed much convincing before agreeing to enter the therapy room. Once inside and having familiarised herself with the surrounding, she spent quite a fair bit of time touching and moving the sand in the sand tray. Sand has a tactile texture that sooths the senses and helps one to connect with inner self. During the first session, Linda spent quite a fair bit of time feeling the sand, shifting it, building mounds and burying her hands beneath the sand. She was not interested in picking any symbols or figurines from the shelves to place in the sand tray. It seemed to me she found comfort just feeling the sand.
The little time left for the first session, I tried symbol work. I interested Linda in discovering the smaller dolls inside a big Russian doll. I then suggested she place the dolls in the sand tray with the bigger ones around the smallest to protect her. Linda objected to my suggestion and said the small doll just wanted to be left alone. She wanted the other dolls to be very very far away from the little one.
The second session took place about three weeks later. After displaying her show of reluctance she started to engage the sand as per the first session. With some encouragement she began to select symbols to place in the sand tray. Once she got the momentum it became quite a spontaneous play, soon cluttering the tray. The theme of her sand story was about a battle between beasts and crawlies on one side against human soldiers on another. A place of shelter was also constructed at the top left corner of the tray using a small mat of artificial grass where she placed ambulances, police vehicles and a fighter jet. Strangely enough she also picked a little chicken wearing a pair of sunglass. When asked whether she could find herself in the story, Linda said she hated the crawlies because they crawled under the sand and attacked secretly. She then said she was actually the chicken with the sun glasses.
A taxi raced towards the shelter dodging all the cross fires between the two sides crying "Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me". The story ended with total carnage where every living thing perished except a lone soldier who managed to catch a cab that took him to the shelter. He then took a fighter jet which flew out of the tray and landed in another sand tray.
My intuitive response includes the following. Crawlies that attacked from beneath the sand could be an expression of a fight (between parents probably) that could erupt anytime unexpectedly. The scene of total carnage spoke of Linda's despair. The chicken with sun glasses which represented her could well be her desire to shield her eyes from what she was seeing. The taxi that sped across the battle field begging to be excused from the conflict and the lone survivor flying into another world were her longing to be spared and to leave the world of her parents conflict into a new world where there is peace.
The Sandplay sessions gave Linda a chance to reconstruct negative experiences from a physically and emotionally distanced perspective. She had spoken loud and clear. She just wanted to be left alone to have some peace.
